You Don't Have To Go
by Wolf Of Legends
Summary: Three years after leaving PPTH to work for McGill University, an Oncology conference brings Wilson back to Princeton for two days. But a visit to his estranged friend and past lover has dire consequences. WARNING: Major character death Lite slash.


**Title:** You Don't Have to Go Back  
**Word Count:** 2,597  
**Beta:** spncsifreak  
**Pairing:**House/Wilson  
**Summary:** Three years after leaving PPTH to work for McGill University, an Oncology conference brings Wilson back to Princeton for two days. But a visit to his estranged friend and past lover has dire consequences. (**WARNING**: Major character death) Lite slash.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own House, Wilson, or anyone else in this tale. FOX NETWORK owns them all. Damn... Oh! but I might own the doctors on the pamplet... save for Wilson that is.

**Quick note:** Much thanks to my beta spncsifreak for checking this creature over for me. No one should have to look over my unworked… work.

I may do an epilogue for this thing here. But I'm still debating the thought.

Now on with the show!!

--

_The 5thannual Advancements in Cancer Treatments Conference is being held at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, New Jersey._

_Guest Oncology Speakers include: Dr. Thomas L. Jacobs, M.D. (New York Presbyterian Hospital, New York), Dr. James Wilson, M.D. (McGill University Health Center,_ _Montréal, QC.) Dr. Robert Talbot, M.D. (Johns Hopkins Hospital, Baltimore), Dr. Jonathan Brown, M.D. (Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, New Jersey), Dr. Elliott Weston, M.D. (Mayo Clinic, Minnesota) _

_Thursday, October 19th. 6PM-8PM Friday, October 20th. 3PM-7PM_

_(See back for directions)_

House stared at the pamphlet before dropping it into the trash and grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. He didn't know who put the thing on his desk but he knew he didn't care about any Oncology conference and he didn't care about any guest speakers that were going to be there. All he cared about was going home. His Friday night wasn't filled with last night clubbing or anything of that nature like everyone else, but it was going to be spent how he wanted. Alone in his apartment with no company.

--

After the conference, Dr. Cuddy walked down the hospital's corridor with her former Head of Oncology, James Wilson. She told him about all the changes that had been done to the hospital, additions here, new doctors with great potential there. She told him about anything that came to mind and she told him about all this with the same enthusiasm as a mother would about her child. But she also went to great lengths not to mention the Head of Diagnostics.

But to Wilson, Princeton meant nothing else. "How's House?"

"He's..." She trailed off as she tried to think of what to say. She didn't want to worry him, but she didn't want to lie to him either. "He's being House." She shrugged.

"Where is he? Has he got a case or anything?" He asked, looking around as if he'd find House roaming the first floor halls.

But she shook her head as they continued to walk. "No, he left a few hours ago. You know how he is, the less human contact the better."

"Did he know I was coming?"

"I don't know." She answered truthfully. "I...didn't…mention it," she forced out. It felt like trying to pull a mule where it didn't want to go.

"Well, I think I'm going to go pay him a visit before I head back to the hotel." He added nonchalantly with Cuddy coming to a stop in the middle of the hall. Wilson knew something was wrong.

"I don't think that's such a good idea." She didn't want to tell him, she just wanted him to pay the antisocial doctor no mind and head on his way. But she should have known better. For years, Wilson had lived for no one but House. There was no way he was going to turn a blind eye on him.

Her comment threw him off guard. "Wha--why?"

"Wilson, I... I just want to warn you." She paused again; she had to think of a way to get this all out. She hated being the bearer of bad news, especially when it was between two friends.

"Warn me?" He asked, confused. What could she be warning him about?

Her blue gray eyes looked back up to his as she tried to find the words to tell him. "He hasn't been the same since you left. It's... almost like he has no emotions at all." Wilson was at a loss for words. "He may seem strong as a rock, like nothing could hurt him anymore, but he's fragile. Just be gentle. You might be the only person he'd still... Just don't push him."

It took him a moment to find his voice and when he did, he quickly went about consoling her. "I know how to handle him, Cuddy. Don't worry." And with that, he bid her adieu until next time and slipped on the coat he had slung over his arm and made his way out the hospital and off to that apartment on Baker Street.

--

House yawned as he watched TV, close to falling asleep on his couch. He was almost certain that he wasn't the only person home on a Friday night and that they should really put something good on TV than the crap that was on now. But a knock at the door put a halt to his thoughts.

That knock.

He _knew_ that knock.

But House also knew the owner of that knock wouldn't come around like nothing happened after leaving three years ago to work for McGill University. "House, I know you're in there." He heard through the door. "There's nothing else you'd be doing on a Friday night." Seems he was wrong.

He carefully got up and limped over to the door without his cane and opened it, but didn't bother to undo the chain lock. The door only opened a crack, allowing Wilson to get a glimpse of those blue eyes. "You don't know that."

"Well, you're here, aren't you?"

"Keep stating the obvious, Wilson. I'm sure one day you'll win some kind of prize." He spat, annoyed. Wilson wasn't naive enough to think he'd be welcomed with open arms.

"Can I come in?" He watched as blue eyes glared judgmentally at him before slamming the door. Wilson was almost sure he had been rejected until the door opened with House dressed in a t-shirt and pajama pants, ready for bed and standing in the doorway. After a few seconds he finally stepped aside and let Wilson walk in. He didn't bother to take off his coat.

"Well, I hope you're not here to go out. I'm kinda not really dressed for it. And besides, I'm not interested at finding out what it's like out there at the moment. It's ready to rain, and well, it nice and warm in here." Wilson was surprised. House was almost... babbling.

He gave a soft reminiscing smile, "My, it's been a long, long time."

"How are you?" Small talk only reinforced Wilson's thought about House babbling. His voice was unsure but he quickly added, "I've been fine."

"I can't complain, I have a great, nice paying job, nice apartment, and I can wear a coat whenever I want without dying of heat stroke." House nodded as Wilson gave a weak laugh. "I wanted to see how you were doing. I didn't see you at the conference."

"Because I didn't go."

"Of course. You never really liked to go anywhere unless it had to do with your specialties." He looked around the apartment before returning his gaze to House once again. He didn't look so great; he looked too thin and overall tired.

But that was because he was. He was so tired of everything he found it hard to get out of bed anymore, but of course Wilson didn't know that.

"How you feeling? You look a little... worn thin."

But the annoyed look that passed over House's face told Wilson he shouldn't have pried. "So you just came to judge me and tell me how unhealthy I look?"

"No, I came here because..." He knew he had to say it. "Because I missed you." And with that he went to House and gave him a hug. Being nice and missing Wilson as well he hugged back. When they pulled apart, Wilson took a step back. "It's good to see you, how've you been?"

House only shrugged.

Wilson knew he wasn't going to get anymore out of him on the subject. He noticed House absently rub at his thigh; it was probably starting to give him trouble from standing without his cane for as long as he had. "How's your leg?" Right when the words left his mouth Wilson immediately knew that was a stupid question to ask.

"Hurts like always. How else would it feel?"

"I don't know. Sorry." It had never been like this, before they always had something to talk about. Sometimes you couldn't get the two of them to shut up. But it almost seemed like that was something of the past. He had to force talk out and it all seemed to be the wrong things to say. An awkward silence filled the room as neither man spoke with Wilson staring at his hands and House at his feet.

But the question that would break the silence Wilson didn't expect nor saw coming. "Are you sure you have to go back?" House's voice was soft and curious.

Wilson knew what he was getting at. He gave an awkward and apologetic smile, "I have my job at McGill. I have to go back."

"You don't have to go back. Unless there's someone else waiting for you."

"No, it's just me." There was an unmistakable sadness in his voice.

But House's expression brightened as if a light bulb turned on. "See, all the more reason why it's not mandatory that you go back. You can come back and work here."

"I couldn't do that. Brown's the Head of Oncology now. I'm not going to ask him for my spot back after he's had it for three years and... I've worked too hard and long to… have anything less." He knew it sounded arrogant of him, but it was true.

"You can open your own practice. You'd be head of everything." House was grasping for anything he could. One could almost describe him as desperate at this point.

"I'm not sure I have the kind of money that goes into opening your own practice."

"Nonsense. You're a doctor! You have oodles of cash, and whatever you need… I can give you what I've stashed away. You didn't think me having you always pay for everything meant I had no money, eh?" Wilson shrugged. But everyone who saw it knew that it was him saying, _Well, yeah._ "I have a lot of money stashed away. Whatever you need, I have."

"I don't know..." All of this was so sudden it was almost overwhelming. Starting his own practice was tempting, but he wasn't sure he was ready to start anything that big on his own. But he should have known by House's words that he wouldn't be alone if he did decide, House would have helped however he could.

Had Wilson truly been listening, he would have realized that this was a cry for help. But it was so out of House's nature to ask for help that he didn't even recognize what it was.

"There's no one between us. I'm not with anyone, and you apparently aren't married again yet. We can try again, can't we?" But he could see that look in Wilson's eyes. He wasn't convinced. "We don't need any reasons; we don't need to explain anything to anyone. Come on, Jimmy, just stay here tonight and sleep on it. We can talk more about it in the morning." What worried him was that Wilson was no longer meeting his eyes. He wasn't going to go for it. The distance between them had grown vast and long in three years. There were so many things that could be causing him not to go along with the plan. "I won't say a word. No one has to know. I just want..." He trailed off, House was fluent in many languages, but feelings wasn't one of them. "I just want you back. I need you here."

Wilson still didn't say a word. He wanted Wilson to speak, he couldn't deal so well with one sided conversations. He couldn't bare the thought that Wilson was just trying to block him out. If he was going to go through the trouble of saying these things, Wilson had better be listening.

"What happened to us, Jimmy? Weren't we happy?" There was a hurt in his voice that tore at Wilson's own heart.

He slowly nodded. "We were... But after I slipped you couldn't trust me. We fought so much and we tore each other apart. We made each other miserable." There was no denying it. In the end they were doing whatever they could to hurt each other. It was neither of their best moments.

But thinking of all the worst times wasn't going to get Wilson any closer to even thinking about the plan, it was only going to make him think less of it.

"You remember in the beginning when we'd sit on the couch and watch TV, and you'd rest your head on my shoulder?" Wilson nodded sadly. "We were happy then. It can be like that again, it can better this time. Just give me a second chance." Wilson was starting to wonder if this was the same man Cuddy had warned him about, the man who acted like he had no more emotion to show for. Because right now, he had nothing but emotion.

It was different.

"It wouldn't." Wilson said quietly. "One of use would say something or do something wrong and that's all we would need to revert back. We love each other so much but we're so doomed to fail."

There was another fit of awkward silence. House was out of things to say and it seemed Wilson was too. Wilson looked at his watch. It was getting late; he'd need to get some sleep if he was going to be remotely up for the flight back home. "It's late, I should be heading out." The words burned his throat just as much as they burned his heart. Both men made their way out of the apartment and out onto the sidewalk where Wilson's rental car sat waiting.

"Stay, Jimmy, just one night."

"I'm sorry, Greg." Wilson said in a sad whisper. He took a step and stood a foot from House and leaned the rest of the way placing a kiss on his cheek. He really did love House, but he couldn't go through the pain again. "It was nice seeing you again." And with a somber nod, House let his line of vision fall to the sidewalk; he couldn't bring himself to meet those brown eyes.

Wilson gave a soft sigh and gave a few quick nods himself before shoving his hands in his pockets of his coat and turned around on his heels and headed out to his car. Melancholy blue eyes watched as Wilson got into the car and drove off to wherever it was he was expected to go.

And just like that, his everything was gone.

--

Two weeks later, Wilson was getting ready for work in his Quebec apartment. The last thing left to do was finish his breakfast and read his paper. With the last bite of his breakfast swallowed and finished, he pushed his plate from him and unfolded his morning paper. He took a sip of hot coffee as he read the headlines.

At reading the first one, his eyes widened with shock and he nearly choked on his coffee. And just like that, he started to dry heave before he ran to the bathroom with him making it to the toilet in time. In a mere second of reading a newspaper headline he was reduced to a grief-stricken mess, throwing up and crying in his bathroom. He never thought a simple headline could change someone's life forever, but now he knew. His life would never be the same. He should have listened to Cuddy but what made it worse was that he told her not to worry. Everything, all of this; it was entirely his fault.

_One of World's Top Diagnosticians Commits Suicide Last Night._

END


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